By Dishi Agaga-Akpati and Etinosa Jacobs
“No person is worth building with. Make your own money, build yourself and prepare for any contingency.” This statement by Laura Olamide, an accountant, mirrors a wider discussion as economic pressure prompts both women and men to rethink marriage.
An increasing number of young Nigerians now weigh factors beyond love before deciding to marry.
Career growth, stable income and financial security are now top priorities, as more people say they should be financially independent before marriage instead of relying solely on a partner.
Opinions remain sharply divided as some Lagos residents expressed their views.
For Olamide, financial independence is a form of protection, not pride.
“As a woman living today, I see it as unwise to marry and then build with a man.
“No man is worth building with. Make your own money, build yourself and prepare for any contingency, whether death or a man deciding to leave.
“Don’t depend on any man for anything,” she said.
Damian Udensi, a businessman, shares a similar perspective, though his personal experience reflects a partnership built jointly.
“I will not advise my daughter to marry a man and be dependent on him.
“Things are no longer the way they used to be when marriages lasted regardless of challenges.
“I don’t want my child to suffer. She should make her own money and if she and her husband decide to build something together after marriage, that’s fine,” he said.
For Monsurat Gbadegesin, a trader, the issue is deeply personal.
She recalls a difficult period when her husband lost his job, leaving her income to keep the household running.
“If I had nothing doing, I don’t know what would have happened to us.
“It is important for a woman to have money for herself and for her children,” she said.
Adetokunbo Ademoye, a businessman, also believes financial independence should be seen as common sense rather than a challenge to a husband’s role.
“In case anything happens, you don’t want to be totally dependent on a man.
“We are in a world where men are not necessarily looking for wives who depend on them for everything.
“Even if you are not contributing regularly, you should have your own source of income and something that belongs to you.
“Anything can happen to anybody,” he said.
However, opinion is not unanimous.
Damilola Rotimi, a chef, believes traditional family roles still have a place.
“I see nothing wrong with a man doing everything while the woman takes care of the home.
“Women of this generation sometimes make things difficult by placing unrealistic expectations on men.
“Once a man provides for his family, everything else is secondary,” she said.
Sheriff Akinyemi, a driver, concurs with that perspective, although his personal experience illustrates evolving attitudes.
“When I married my wife, she did not go to school and we have raised our children successfully.
“At the end of the day, it is still the man’s responsibility to provide for his family.
“Things are different now though, which is why I ensured my daughter went to school so she can also stand on her own,” he said.
The debate comes amid Nigeria’s ongoing economic pressures.
With inflation rising, unemployment high, and living costs climbing, many households now rely on multiple sources of income.
At the same time, young adults are delaying marriage to focus on financial stability.
According to Muyiwa Olalere, a customer service officer, those economic realities are altering both the timing of marriage and expectations of a spouse.
“High living costs, unemployment, low income and financial pressure make many young people feel they are not ready for marriage.
“Many now focus on building their careers first.
“Social media has also changed people’s expectations, making some seek unrealistic standards in a partner.
“Being single today is not always a choice made out of fear. It is often a result of economic realities, personal goals and changing values in society,” he said.
Whether perceived as a financial safety net, an economic requirement, or an indicator of changing social norms, one thing is clear, today, marriage conversations are increasingly about money too.
Dishi Agaga-Akpati and Etinosa Jacobs write for the News Agency of Nigeria
