Former military president Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida has recalled the intrigues he had to overcome before he could secure the heart of his late wife, Maryam, in marriage.
He said after he had decided that she was the best for his life, she hesitated because of his go-about-town history with ladies.
“She knew that I had a track record of being something of a man about town, and those were not the qualities she wanted in a husband. She was unconvinced of my capacity to be serious, and many people said as much to her,” he notes.
Babangida revealed this in his newly released controversial autobiography, A Journey in Service.
The book, launched on Thursday alongside a fundraiser for his presidential library, provides insight into their love story, from their early days in Kaduna to their life as a married couple.
Babangida recalled meeting Maryam, formerly Maria Okogwu, in their younger years while living in the unmarried officers’ quarters on Kanta Road, Kaduna.
He described being captivated by her beauty, calling her “stunning” with an enchanting smile.
Their bond endured despite his military training abroad in India and the UK, and he often visited her at the home of his close friend and cousin, Garba Duba.
At 28, after surviving a near-death experience in battle, Babangida decided to settle down.
While recovering from a chest injury at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital, he reflected on his relationships and realized he wanted to marry Maryam.
He said, “I had settled on Maria as the woman I would wed before being discharged from the hospital, and as soon as I was discharged, I made my way to Kaduna, where she lived with her mother and uncle. I was anxious to share the good news with her: I had decided we were destined for a life together. I admired her greatly for her reserved nature and the fact that she was well brought up.
“I wanted to make my intentions known to her and was determined not to accept No for an answer. Fortune favours the bold, and it smiled upon me; I counted and still count myself lucky. Initially, Maria was highly skeptical of me as marrying material.
Babangida revealed that faith played a central role in his life, and he required Maryam to convert to Islam before they married.
According to him, this was not difficult for Maryam, who had both Christian and Muslim family influences.
“I shared with her the fact that my faith was an integral and essential part of my life and that I would require her to convert to Islam.
“Praise be to Allah; this was not a difficult decision for Maria. Being part-Christian and part-Muslim at birth and already living in a Muslim household, it was never going to be wholly uncharted territory for her.
Babangida also assured her he would not take multiple wives, a decision he believed contributed to their strong marriage.
The couple married on September 6, 1969, and had four children—Aisha, Muhammad, Aminu, and Halima.
Maryam died from ovarian cancer in Los Angeles on December 27, 2009, at 61.
Babangida admitted that coping without her had been difficult but said memories of their life together had provided solace.
