Having my career and family didn’t work for me – Shaffy Bello

Popular actress, Shaffy Bello, has said that although some women are able to retain their careers and families, it did not work for her.

As a result, she says, she paid dearly for choosing her career, especially when she had to leave her family abroad to move to Nigeria to be part of the film industry.

In an interview with Chude Jidonwo, she discusses why she returned to Nigeria to act Yoruba films, the loss of her mother and the sacrifice she made #WithChude

Explaining why she returned to Nigeria to act in Yoruba films, the 51-year old actor and singer says: “I wanted to spread my wings. I felt like I was pregnant and I couldn’t have a child. I felt like my wings were sort of closed in and I was boxed in and I needed more, my soul needed more.

“I was yearning for more but I didn’t realize what kind of sacrifice would come with wanting more and going for what you want, after all you have to pay some price.

“I paid the price of having a connection with my children there. Coming to Nigeria, I would stay in my room and cry asking myself, ‘What am I doing, what am I doing?” I left my children abroad, my daughter was 13 and my son was 11. Now mind you, I was a hands-on mother. I would set the table, all of that. I would quit my job just to raise my children, that’s why I only had 2 so when they grew up to a certain extent I went back to working.

“I sacrificed everything. So leaving them with their father was a huge sacrifice but it turned around for good.”

Advising other women struggling with making decisions about their dreams and their homes, Shaffy Bello says “What I will say is that there is time for everything. If your children are still young, you need to nurture them. They didn’t ask to come, you brought them, so give them that time. Nurture them. Give them such a good foundation that you can trust it, so when it’s time for you to fly, you can fly.” she added.

“It is not going to be easy, but you have to trust yourself. You have to trust that you can have your marriage, your children and your career. Some people are, so why not. It didn’t work for me, but it doesn’t mean it won’t work for every woman. You just have to find your own niche, and find what works for you.”

“But don’t you dare forget yourself and your dreams,” she concludes.