Akeem Lasisi
A photograph in which one of the children of Mr Akinwunmi Ambode, the Lagos State Governor, prostrated while greeting President Muhammadu Buhari on Wednesday has caused a lot of sensation and reminded concerned people about the beauty of Yoruba culture, some key elements of which have been eroded. Here are five other ways a Yoruba child is expected to show respect for elders:
– You don’t initiate a handshake with elders. You only receive it with respect when they initiate it.
– When you are eating with elders, you do not pick meat before they do.
– You do not sit down when the elder has yet to get a seat. Even when you are doing so before he or she comes, you should stand up and offer him/her the seat. This is the kernel of the proverb, ‘Bi agbalagba ko ba ribi jokoo, gbedigbedii a maa gbe omode.” This means when an elder cannot secure a seat, the cultural force called gbediigbedi propels the young to stand up.
– You don’t raise your voice against the elder, let alone slap your father or mother. There is a primary school song to this effect: Omo to gba baba re loju o/ Osu ni yo t’omo naa pa/ Omo to gba mama re loju o/ Osi ni yoo t’omo naa pa…’ This means that any child who slaps his father or mum will die of affliction or poverty.
– Where elders are present, a young person is forbidden to use a proverb. If he or she must use one, he has to say ‘Toto, o se bi owe’, immediately he finishes expressing it. This means, ‘I crave your indulgence for using this proverb.” The idea here is also that ‘Enu agba lobi i gbo’, meaning the kola nut (proverb) tastes better on the tongue of an elderly person.
Although the traditional restraints seem oppressive, it is this element of respect that marks out the Yoruba world from several others in Nigeria and beyond. It reinforces orderliness and continuity. Besides, the elders are not supposed to be too quick to punish children or youths who violate any of the restraints, especially when it does not involve raising one’s hand against one’s parents.
The elder is expected to correct the offender, suggesting that even when he punishes the person, it has to be within the corrective range. As a matter of fact, there is a proverb that cautions the old fellow in this context: Agba waa bura b’ewe o se e ri. This calls on the elder to swear if he or she too had never been a victim of childishness or exuberance.
